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I thought I had the self-control to refrain from drinking when I'm depressed. So much for that. It's amazing how little can set me off. One little comment, several days ago, and suddenly, it's a two-long-island night.
And the funny thing is, I *know* it's not worth it. No amount of drink will change things. And I'm not likely to drink enough to forget everything. But still I persist. Every few months, I set my resolve. No more Inferno. No more drinking. But every time, my will falters, and I suddenly find myself wanting to wallow in something quite like, but not exactly, self-pity.
And the only thing I can look forward to is that tomorrow is another day, and I'll sober up (although I'm due for a hangover at this rate), and that I can lose myself in another gaming session.
Ah...escapism. What would I do without you? I'd be left with a life that I'm not happy with. A life that feels empty even though it's filled with friends that I wouldn't trade for all the world. And why does it feel empty? Because I've convinced myself that something's missing. That I'm missing out on something that's more important that what I currently have.
Is it a case of "the grass is greener on the other side"? I can't really say. It's probably just my maudlin side coming out when exposed to everyone's favorite poison. Frankly, I blame my Irish side. The same gene pool that produced James Joyce spat out a guy who gets absurdly introspective when he drinks. Funny that.
In any event, it's time for sleep. As demanded, I've added added jodez to my friends list. Let it not be said that I don't do as I'm told.
And the funny thing is, I *know* it's not worth it. No amount of drink will change things. And I'm not likely to drink enough to forget everything. But still I persist. Every few months, I set my resolve. No more Inferno. No more drinking. But every time, my will falters, and I suddenly find myself wanting to wallow in something quite like, but not exactly, self-pity.
And the only thing I can look forward to is that tomorrow is another day, and I'll sober up (although I'm due for a hangover at this rate), and that I can lose myself in another gaming session.
Ah...escapism. What would I do without you? I'd be left with a life that I'm not happy with. A life that feels empty even though it's filled with friends that I wouldn't trade for all the world. And why does it feel empty? Because I've convinced myself that something's missing. That I'm missing out on something that's more important that what I currently have.
Is it a case of "the grass is greener on the other side"? I can't really say. It's probably just my maudlin side coming out when exposed to everyone's favorite poison. Frankly, I blame my Irish side. The same gene pool that produced James Joyce spat out a guy who gets absurdly introspective when he drinks. Funny that.
In any event, it's time for sleep. As demanded, I've added added jodez to my friends list. Let it not be said that I don't do as I'm told.
